Hello Loves, My X’s power and control over me was subtle, until it wasn’t. At first he appointed my friends – women he had dated or were in his community. It felt loving and thoughtful. He didn’t want me to be alone in my new home. But after the birth of my daughter, I branched… Continue reading Progression

Hello Loves, At first I thought it was sweet. I’d driven to a friend’s house and my X called moments after I arrived. He was checking that I got there safely. Then he wanted to know when I would be back. He missed me. He didn’t like sharing me with others. I thought this was… Continue reading Possession

Hello Loves, My X believed he was as smart as any doctor. He had no medical schooling and had dropped out of college. Yet, he always knew better. He thought his hunches were bang on one hundred percent of the time. He carried around with him a brazen disregard for any kind of medical authority.… Continue reading God Complex

Hello Loves, I fell off a horse. I was pretty badly injured. I’d come crashing down onto a cement road, my ankle smashing against it. I was convinced that I’d broken a bone. I managed to get back home. My X examined my swollen and purpling foot and leg like a seasoned doctor. He declared… Continue reading Know-It-All

Hello Loves, I witnessed the first fight. It’s not what you think. It was between my X and his daughter. She had come home from school, hot and cranky. He had forgot to pick her up, and she was mad that she had to make the long walk home. He had actually forgot that she… Continue reading Witness

Hello Loves, I walked in on my X showering with his preteen daughter. Naked. It seemed like I was witnessing a private and yet normal routine. He stood behind her lathering up shampoo on her scalp. A thing she was fully capable of doing for herself. Then he ran his hands down her hair rinsing… Continue reading The Shower

Hello Loves, My X shared a bed with his pre-teen daughter. I found this out after I moved in with him. We had picked her up from her mom’s place and went out for dinner. Over bites of pizza, she wanted to know where I was going to sleep in her house. This seemed like… Continue reading Sleeping Arrangement

Hello Loves, My X hated his ex-wife. If only that had been enough to signal to my inner self to stay away. But for me it wasn’t that unusual. My parents had divorced when I was nine. They argued on the phone and in person. My mom was often in tears over her divorce, and… Continue reading Ex-Wife

Hello Loves, I met my X at a street party in Hawaii. He singled me out in a crowd of hundreds. The first thing he said to me, before introducing himself, was that the previous guy I had been talking to was a total loser. He had been watching me. His gaze was intense, but… Continue reading First Date

Hello Loves, It takes a lot of bravery to stand up to someone you once loved, and tell them that your relationship is over, and you want out. It becomes an act of heroism when you’ve spent most of that relationship surviving intimate partner violence. There were red flags. Ones that were both clear and… Continue reading Self-Preservation