Cause -What happened?
I met my ex-girlfriend on a dance floor. She was a French woman here in Canada on a work visa. There were phone calls and dinners and she told me her life story as a struggling single mom with three kids, an empty apartment and an empty fridge. I felt sorry for her and lent her money within the first month of knowing each other. I found her a job at a friend’s bakery, after her teaching contract was up. We moved into together after she left her kids with her ex-husband. Then she told me that she had a job opportunity in California teaching at a high school but she had no money for the flight. So I bought her a ticket. We had a long distance relationship and I flew to visit with her in California. I gave her my credit card for emergencies so I’d know she’d be okay there alone. She made me promise her to not worry about the credit card and that I could trust her to pay it off. I never looked at the statements. Her job ended up not working out and she flew back to France and I met her there.
We continued our long distance relationship and she lived between France and Canada. We’d be together for a couple of months and then she would move again, always stating she had found work. This went on for three years. The last time I saw her she’d moved to Montreal. I even went for a visit but there was a distance between us. When I came home something in me thought about the credit card, so I decided to check the latest statement. I was in shock – she’d racked up $15,000. Then I calculated how much money I’d sent her through Money Mart and it was close to $10,000. When I went to confront her, she disappeared.
Impact – How did this impact your life?
I worried about what happened to her and texted and called and emailed with no response. I cared about her but had no idea what went wrong. I eventually canceled my credit card and was left with her debt. I had to sell my investment to pay of the credit card before the interest grew out of control. It impacted my credit.
Healing – How did you heal?
I talked with one good friend who was older and wiser and she really helped me understand what had happened and how to move on. I learned that you don’t have to be obligated to help. That I am responsible for myself and other people are responsible for themselves. I learned to trust my own instincts and have a healthy amount of skepticism about people and to not be gullible.
