He didn’t believe me.
I’d called him scared and crying. I’d told him that I had broken up with my X. That it wasn’t working out (a major understatement). He was sympathetic at first and told me that relationships were tough, but he was sure I could work it out. When I mentioned that my X was very angry and I was scared of him, he told me that everyone goes through a rough patch.
Then he asked – What had I done to make him so mad?
He told me to give my X a few days to calm down, then go back home and work it out with him. For my daughter’s sake. I was stunned. It was not the help I thought I’d receive from him.
Side note: My father at this point was on his third marriage. He’s now on his fourth.
Back then, I took my father’s advice seriously. I gave my X space, but when I came back home with my daughter, the abuse escalated quickly. There was physical violence.
At a friend’s house, I called my father again. I told him that things had gotten much worse. I begged him to buy me and his granddaughter a plane ticket out of Hawaii and back to Canada.
This is what he said: You cannot run away from your problems.
I sobbed into the phone and told him that my X had threatened to kill me. That I needed to get out of there.
In a stern voice he told me that I was exaggerating. If there was a problem, why hadn’t I told him sooner? Then he mentioned that he’d just got off the phone with my X. That when he talked to my X he was calm and rational, but when he talked to me I was hysterical.
I tried to calm myself down, so he would believe me, but I was terrified.
My father told me that I was an adult, and that I couldn’t just run away from my problems. That my X was the father of my child and that he had rights. He wouldn’t send me a plane ticket unless I signed a custody agreement.
Then he hung up on me.
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