Have you ever judged a woman for not making the best choices?
And if they’re a mom, well forget about it. Moms are held at a Buddha-Jesus-Guanyin like level. They are supposed to attain parenting perfection daily.
I’ve judged other women for their decision-making skills, even after I was out of an abusive relationship.
I judged them on how long they stayed in it. On how much abuse they let themselves endure. On what they put their children through (as if they were the abuser!). I’ve thought – what the hell are you doing? Get out! I’ve judged women for not taking my advice. For not listening to me. For having the audacity to make mistakes. For not being smarter or wiser or savvy enough.
I’ve felt superior, like I was on the top of the pyramid of intimate partner violence, because I left sooner than others.
If I’ve thought this way and I’m a survivor of abuse, can you imagine what others think? I’ve heard women say – what did she expect, she didn’t leave, she must be really fucked up, how could she not have noticed the red flags, she got what she deserved.
I’m naming this behavior in myself because I want to out myself. And I want to out you.
I want to name this judgment I’ve had towards other women, acknowledge it, forgive it, change it, and release it. I want to hold other women with compassion, and understanding, and empathy.
In the end, judging other women has only led me back to myself. Back to the judgments I’ve kept close to my heart about my own challenges and decisions. About my own misgivings and confusions. About my own lack of awareness and self-care.
In the end we are all on this human journey at Earth School.
Why not be love?