August 1st, 2019 | by LeaLove

 

Hello Loves,

My X believed he was as smart as any doctor.

He had no medical schooling and had dropped out of college.

Yet, he always knew better. He thought his hunches were bang on one hundred percent of the time. He carried around with him a brazen disregard for any kind of medical authority. He was a hippy survivalist.

His crazed distrust and suspicion that doctors were out to get him surpassed any conspiracy theorists. When his daughter had a sty in her eye, he lanced it himself. When she fell off a horse and hit her head, had a goose egg and cut, he checked her pupils with a flashlight and claimed she had no concussion. When she contracted a serious flu that had her vomiting, a fever over 103, and made her delirious, he gave her enemas for her dehydration, made tinctures and teas, but refused to give her Tylenol. I thought she was going to die.

He once drank a large amount of cassava-soaked water which contained high levels of cyanide. He’d heard that it could cure cancer, and wanted to try it out. He didn’t have cancer. Later he told me that he had a pounding headache and was dizzy, and thought he was going to die from self-poisoning. When my X needed a filling, he would ask the dentist to not use novocaine, as he believed it to be toxic. He declared that he didn’t feel a thing, and that dentists were harming people for no reason.

When I had an infected mosquito bite that had a long red line going up my leg with possible blood poisoning, he had me use a tincture. He didn’t believe in contraceptives and wanted me to use the cycles of the moon as my guide. He insisted on a home birth, and believed that he could deliver the baby himself. He thought it would be easy. When I needed stitches, and had to go to the hospital, he wouldn’t let our children come in for fear that they would catch something. Not even my newborn baby.

Listen, no one is God. Don’t let others boss you around or convince you that they know best. You know what’s best for your body. Be your own advocate. Stand up for yourself. Cherish yourself.

God Complex

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