May 30th, 2018 | by LeaLove

This post was submitted anonymously by a woman working to regain custody of her children.

How to survive battery and violence, look after yourself and your children:

  1. Cry as much as you need. There is much benefit in weeping.
  2. Figure out what you can do to help yourself today, each day, and do it.
  3. Wear fancy underwear – do the little things that bring a hint of pleasure.
  4. Document, document, document – build and develop a paper trail.
  5. Account for your weaknesses (i.e. if you are forgetful write yourself notes).
  6. Ask for help – be direct about the kind of help you need.
  7. Learn to accept help.
  8. Say yes to new friends, community, and love.
  9. Grieve, mourn. Grieve, mourn. Grieve, mourn. Holy fuck, grieve and mourn.
  10. Get a printer. It’s likely you’ll have a shitload of paperwork to deal with.
  11. Get/keep a running car if you can afford it. This is an excellent tool towards freedom and speeds up the day (I had so much on my plate I couldn’t afford to lose time).
  12. Strengthen your body, mind, and soul. Do exercise, do spiritual practice, keep all aspects of yourself strong.
  13. Allow yourself breaks and time off from problems.
  14. If you are a ruminator or over-thinker, practice not thinking. Insist on periods of no thinking.
  15. If the day is too long, break the day down into short periods. Two hour slots help the day go by.
  16. Do the absolute best you can at parenting. This can strengthen your self-concept as a parent.
  17. Have people around you who understand the situation, which often calls for people who can hold complexity.
  18. Locate and go to appropriate resources. Finding a few other people who are dealing with similar stuff can ease the psychic load.
  19. Make vibrations, sing, vocalize, move, dance – don’t let bad energy get stuck for too long. Noise making facilitates health.
  20. Make your bed each day. Apply beauty and order where you can.
  21. Find your spiritual practice. Often these communities can handle and hold grief.
  22. Help others, as this helps with sense of self, and keeps us real in the world.
  23. Tell yourself 10 things that you are grateful for or enjoyed each day. Even in the shittiest days there are 10 gems.
  24. Find activities that meet your level of stress. I found crunches and planks met the police trauma and legal terror I experienced.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                              Do you have a story to share? Write to me
#21 Anonymous Part Two

One thought on “#21 Anonymous Part Two

  • May 31, 2018 at 10:36 am

    Brilliant. A must do list for anybody! Thank you.


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